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Now I fully understand it, Otter.

Glad I could be of service.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} for Otter.

What patients say during Colonoscopies

Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. Find Amelia Earhartye?
3. Can you hear me NOW?
4. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
5. You know, in Arkansas , e'r now legally married.
6. Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?
7. You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...
8. Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!
9. If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.
11. You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?
12. God, now I know why I am not ***.

And the best one ***all...

13. Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?

Today's Date;
07-07-07

I'll remember this date forever more. 07-07-07

Good friend passed away today, amazingly shortly after 7am.
She probably picked the date, she was always out there, enjoying life, with great shocking view points. She's looking for the bar in heaven as I type, we just know. Also if no cats in heaven, she has already announced, get me out of here. God we loved her.

Sorry to hear that Chloe here is a joke in memory of your friend.

WATER & WINE EDUCATION

It has been scientifically proven that if we Drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop !

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine - or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors - because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering, and fermenting.

It is better to drink wine and talk sh*t …
Than to drink water and be full of sh*t

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I am doing it as a public service.

Thanks Tacogirl. But the big question is how do we purge the sh*t - as so many people we know continue to be full of it or stirring it.

Sorry about your friend Chloe. You can rest assured she will be accompanied by my cat in heaven as he passed a few days ago. He's a little wild but I am sure they will enjoy one another's company.

I came across this this morning and thought it was pretty funny...

(from someone who definitely has too much time on their hands)

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
"grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand
tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
True Champion.

There can be only one.

I feel I know this person
The M and M Darwinian imperative states, "If we're unwilling to change, someone else's M and M will, and go forward."
The M and M Darwinian imperative is to survive and reproduce therefore succeeding and propagating the successful M gene. Adapt or be squashed and eaten-that is the M and M Darwinian imperative.
Good behavior follows the Darwinian imperative. That is, it had and continues to have survival value. Evolve or perish is the rule, and behavior is not immune to these forces.
As far as day-to-day behavior is concerned, there is no such imperative but day to day behavior isn't what I'm referring to, 'Basic Good' has emerged as successful and it's in the DNA of M and M's
Can you be born good or bad? It's not nearly that simple. Researchers on all sides of the behavioral genetics debate emphasize that the link between a M gene and a M behavior is not the same as cause and effect. Bottom line: a gene does not make M and M's good. It doesn't code for emotions or thoughts. It may not even turn on or off without an instruction from its surroundings. Instead, a M gene may trigger a whole cascade of biochemical events in the candy, interact with environmental and developmental influences, and - together with these - increase the likelihood that M and M's behave in a particular way, If that way is successful the Darwinian imperative says they will propagate and further strengthen the M gene. Good survives in this environment. This creates a direct advantage of religions beliefs, regardless of their logic.
I'm saying an M and M's moral sense has a Darwinian origin and religious beliefs fit comfortably into it.
DNA-based techniques have allowed more specific studies of M genetic influences on M and M behavior. Geneticists identify M and M's in hand fulls with a particular behavior then look for sections of genes (genetic markers) that they all seem to share, such as melting in the mouth rather than in the hand. They aim to narrow these results down to find markers very close to the targeted M gene, and then its exact location. The researchers then test whether the gene's activity - or failure to act - seems to trigger the observed behavior. Finally, they look at the Candy product made by the gene and try to determine its role.
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